If we were allowed to live without meeting difficulties, we would not be viable. Life gives us challenges to make us stronger.
I had heard a lot about challenges of life, but they used to be mere stories for me that I never experienced. Now, it was my turn. I was forced to face these challenges because of a major change in my life. I was a numb, emotionless and silent spectator.
After coming back to India, once everything was channelized everybody was back to their work and I found myself alone and lonely. I realized my responsibilities had doubled. Loneliness makes you weak and tender. All my strength changed into unending numbness and tears. But it was far from over. Something even worse was waiting ahead.
I started losing weight and appetite. My mental condition was an obvious concern for my family. After three months, I was diagnosed with a serious illness and was hospitalized for three weeks. My children were terrified – they could not even think of losing me now. I was unavoidably kept on steroids for long time and it affected my health in a big way. My weakness didn’t even allow me to walk a few steps.
Being positive seemed impossible – I was weak and irritable, losing faith in God by the day. Preaches, motivational books or self help articles were not working – I just wasn’t ready. I was in the middle of the tunnel with no end in sight.
That New Years Eve, I had a resolution. The evening that I got discharged from the hospital, I promised myself that going forward I would be viewing life in a positive light.
After a year and a half, I have started improving and normalcy returns. I have started running as a hobby. Although it was not easy, I wanted to be fit and get back to life. After all this time, I have learnt the lesson that being healthy is the only way to live a positive, meaningful life. I have learnt to smile again. My family and friends are there to support me in this fight. I did not want anyone’s sympathy – I wanted to be stronger and sympathies give you the convenience of being weak. Being weak was out of my charts now.
“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.”– Dennis P. Kimbro
In the end, I have come out as a winner though it has taken me two long years. With the support of my children, I learnt that it is never too late to begin a new journey. I always regret that I could never ask them how they were dealing with the changed circumstances. Further, I put them in increased stressful situations by not keeping well.
It was a difficult win for all of us. I could finally see a smile on their faces.
I am back to my photography, my passion. Manu is with me, everywhere, every moment, giving me strength to be a perfect mom and fulfil the dreams that we saw together. We have learnt to take life as it comes, in its all colors, shapes and sizes. Our little dog, Juno, is the new addition to the family.
Life is again on a positive track and to prove it, Shreya got a placement offer from Microsoft. The feeling of Manu being around got stronger. I felt him with us, smiling with pride.
This goes to you Manu!!
We love you. We are having a new start together and we know that it will be a successful journey with you in it.